The swings and roundabouts of love

There is no doubt that I am not alone in the fact that I have had to forget someone I was going out with, even though I was happy at the time. Many people have found themselves in a similar situation, whereby the timing was wrong or something else just wasn’t right. Yes, it happens and it’s not very nice at the time. You’ll never really quite know until you’ve had a similar experience yourself.

All you can really do is to find something to help you cope, while you lick your wounds and prepare yourself to move on and eventually find someone else.

Trying different mechanisms

People try different mechanisms to try and help them cope. Some might for example reach for that all-time favorite comforter – a tub of ice-cream. It is an indulgence, but try not to go overboard and eat too much.

Some people might resort to locking themselves away from the world, but that in all honesty never really helps – at least not in the long term.

Others, cat lovers for example, might go out and buy a new pet cat, or volunteer their services at the local cat rescue centre.

Many other people think about jumping straight back into the frying pan by getting back into dating right away. They frequent a few bars and clubs to try and find someone to hook up with to take their minds off their misery.

Some people decide they will try speed dating or online dating. The problem is that these sorts of random attempts to get back into the flow, might only serve to make you aware of what you’re missing.

Nice and easy does it

When all is said and done, my recommendation is to take it slowly. Not so slowly that you do nothing but dwell on the past, but not too quickly either. Becoming a serial dater is no good for long term relationships. Time, as we hear, is a great healer, and you do need to get over your last guy before diving straight back in.

I like the words to the Matt Nathanson song, “I saw” that recounts, “I’ll forget about you long enough to forget why I need to.” It makes sense and its good advice to follow; but how do you go about it?

Try something different

What about partaking in some sort of activities that don't actually revolve around dating? What about your friends for example? These are the girls whose company you forwent so that you could spend every waking moment with your ex. They will probably still around, so it's got to be worth calling them up.

Why not arrange a girly night out that doesn't involve men? Alternatively, you could go out for a meal, or go and watch a movie, or attend another event. But whatever you do, you want to avoid the subject of dating. It will only remind you of exactly what you're trying to get over.

Have a “you” day

The first thing that you should do is to have a "you" day. This is just about you, yourself, and should help you to be able to clear your mind. Retail therapy is always a good diversion for most girls, even if it's only window-shopping retail therapy. It might help to take a book with you and read it over a meal and glass of wine. You'll find it quite comforting and it will help to distract you from morbid thoughts of the past.

Gather round the family

Don't forget your family either. It's at times like these that families can give you the support you need. You don't have to stay too long, but just touching base with those you love and those who love you, always helps. You're bound to have shared lots of good times and memories that you can revisit. Without realising it you'll begin laughing and enjoying yourself and starting the healing process.

A new beginning

This will be the beginning of beginning a new life away from your ex. It won't happen overnight, but as we said earlier, time is a great healer. Whatever the reason for the split, there's no going back, and even if you did, things wouldn't be the same again. There's a reason that it happened and that reason would always have surfaced somewhere along the line.

One thing you can be sure of is that Mr. Wright is out there somewhere, and the sooner you get over Mr. Wrong, the sooner you can start moving on. Whatever you lost on the swings you can make up on the roundabouts.