Deciding whether to sit on the bench or play for the A team

It is extremely upsetting if your boyfriend/girlfriend is playing fast and loose with you. You know what I mean – the types who tell you they are interested in you but who somehow never want to make any sort of commitment.

Being treated like this is now called “benching.” It derives from the sport of baseball, when reserve players are sat on benches waiting for an opportunity to get into the game. Many of them just have to sit the match out without being called up. You see the parallel?

The important thing in terms of personal relationships and dating, is to know how to tell you are being benched. That’s what I intend to do here in this article – show you the signs that mean you’ve been benched.

Lack of repeat date opportunities

The worst case scenario is that the guy or girl never asks you out again. However, at least you know where you stand. You’ve been benched – permanently! Sometimes this takes some time to play out. Typically he/she will let you down at the last moment, promising you that he/she will be in touch again soon. This can drag on for a long time unless you’re savvy to it.

All quiet in the western front

There’s nothing worse than non-communication. It leaves you high and dry wondering what the heck is going on. If this happens to you for any length of time, take the bull by the horns and you make contact to see what is happening.

Anonymous relationships

These are the sort of relationships that you can’t put a name to. Are you girlfriend and boyfriend? Is it a platonic relationship, or is it something in between? This type of relationship may also be one whereby the other person is also seeing someone else. It may seem that you get called off the bench every now and again without any real regularity.

Now it’s on – now it’s off

Hurrah! Contact has been re-established. But, hang on a second – there is still no commitment. In all likelihood, he/she has simply popped up again simply to keep you interested. The real killer is when the other person tries to make out that you are to blame by saying something like, “Why haven’t you been in touch?”

Don’t get benched – play for the A team or transfer your affections

If you’ve been benched in the true meaning of the term - being called upon now and again – why not take control? What I mean by that is tell the other person to commit or disappear. It’s all down to you. You don’t have to put up with being treated second best.

The fact of the matter is that you probably care more for the other person that he/she does about you. If that really is the case, you need to find out. You’ll then know what to do next. Ditch them or get a commitment.

Why is it that some people can’t be nice to one another? You deserve to be treated with respect, as does the other person. You give them a chance first. If they don’t earn your respect by not respecting you – you know what to do. Say bye-bye and move on.