When should you meet her parents? Is there a generic time frame that most people agree upon?
When it comes to relationships, you have to manage expectations. Will you automatically know when it is time to meet her parents? Basically, this depends on the couple and what type of plans they have for the future, if any. Usually a couple talks this special event and what happens after you’ve been introduced to her parents. After the introduction, what direction should the relationship take? Thus, the right time to meet her parents is when you both have the same expectations for the future.
What should you wear?
Understand that you’re meeting her parents for the first time, but they’ve known her all her life. Most importantly, remember that fathers think their daughters are princesses. Her father wants to know everything about you. Although you’d feel comfortable in your best worn tee shirt and jeans, this is inappropriate wear for meeting her parents. Think about it. Would you wear this when you’re facing a courtroom judge? You might think this description is a little harsh, but when you’re meeting her parents for the first time, you’ll be standing before a judge. Dress conservatively and make sure that you are presentable for the occasion.
What Type of Body Language Should You Possess?
Make sure that you exhibit positive body language. Make good eye contact. Don’t be afraid to look her father in the eyes. If her parents ask a lot of questions, be open to their questioning. Don’t give them short snappy answers. That’ll make you seem irritated, or that you’re hiding something. Instead, show interest in the family by asking a few carefully planned questions of your own.
In addition, refrain from overt physical contact with your girlfriend. Major kissing and holding hands isn’t acceptable during this occasion. This includes clinging to your girlfriend because you’re nervous.
Treat Her with Respect
Parents want to see that you know how to treat their daughter, which is especially important to her father. Although some believe chivalry is dead, it must be alive when you’re meeting her parents for the first time. They’ll watch to see if you open doors for her and pull out her chair. Give your girlfriend the respect that she deserves. However, don’t give her parents the impression that you are a lost little puppy who listens to their daughter’s every command. Just find a balance and respect their little girl.
What Should You Talk About?
What do you say to her parents? How do you break the ice? There are two ways to break the ice. First, bring a gift that you know the family enjoys. It can be something simple such as a bottle of wine or flowers. You could also opt for a more personalized gift which shows her parents you’re a thoughtful person. It also gives you another conversation piece that can be discussed in detail.
The second way to break the ice is to ask her parents open ended questions. This takes the attention away from you and puts it back on the family. It also reduces tension and shows appreciation of the family.
How to Gain Their Approval
Indeed, meeting her parents can be very stressful because you want to gain their trust and approval. But how can you do this without coming on to strong? You want to be confident without being arrogant, and you want to be polite without seeming desperate. Is there a balance?
As the boyfriend, you must respect her parents without cowering. Keep in mind that they are probably just as nervous as you are about the night. Use this time to get to know them. Open up and allow them to learn more things about the man who is spending a lot of time with their baby girl. Instead of viewing this event as a way to get their approval, view it as a way to learn more about her family. In the long run, you should worry about getting your girlfriend’s approval.
The Biggest Mistakes that You Can Make
What are some of the biggest mistakes that you can make when meeting her parents for the first time?
You fail to do your research.
Understand that this is a very important step for your girlfriend and her family. Don’t make silly assumptions about what is happening.
You fail to respect her parents by not paying attention to their household rules.
For instance, if they take their shoes off, then you do the same.
You cling to much to your girlfriend.
You don’t attempt to get closer to the family. It is also rude to talk about things that only you and the girlfriend understand.
You are too affectionate with your girlfriend.
Not only is this disrespectful towards her parents, but it’s awkward for everyone in the room that has to watch your displays of affection.
You lack confidence and pride.
Although you may not have the right kind of job or background that meets her parent’s approval, you must still stand up for yourself. Show pride in what you do. Doing otherwise just makes you look weak and unworthy of your girlfriend’s attention.
In conclusion, remember the following things:
Ask your girlfriend about the night’s expectations. Know who is attending and what to expect.
You and your girlfriend should create two subtle signals to use if something is wrong. The first one should signal when you need her help with a conversation or situation. The second one should be your signal for when you are ready to go home.
Finally, understand that you are a guest in your girlfriend’s home. Try to be accommodating and flexible. Also, keep in mind that this night is not all about you. It is very important to your girlfriend and her parents too. Make them as comfortable as possible.