10 Things Not to Say When You’re Arguing with Her

1. "Don't you have some housework to do?"

2. "I was laughing about a joke I heard today."

3. "It’s so adorable when your face gets all red like that."

4. "You're just mad because you’re putting on weight."

5. "Oh I get it. Is it that time of the month already?"

6. "What, are you going to cry?" (quivering lip mockingly)

7. "Sure you don’t want to ask Oprah about this?"

8. "Sorry. I was just picturing you in lingerie."

9. "Oops, time to put this on hold. Football is on."

10. "Can’t we do this by e-mail instead?"